Chávez eres (ta)tú

Anabella and Barbara tackled the wackiness of Chavez’s fandom a few weeks ago with a brief post on the man’s signature and all new typeface.


Early this morning the good people of Aporrea announced there will be a cultural event held on the premises of OPSU (Oficina de Planificación del Sector Universitario) in downtown Caracas. This, of course, as part of the celebrations for Chavez’s 60th birthday.

Get this: the attendees will be able to get a tattoo of Eternal President’s face and signature for free. Yes, free! As they say in their post, “the activity is government sponsored and free.” (I sort of see a contradiction there, but hell…)

Here’s an idea: Since the event is to be held at a government building and sponsored by the taxpayers, why not give away tattoos of people’s ID cards instead? And hey, give ’em the option of replacing their own pictures and signatures with the Commander’s.

Wait, wait, how about making this a requirement? Include a little barcode in there with all your information. The bar code would help folks standing in line waiting for their weekly rations. No need on bitting on a piece of plastic before getting shot, and … your body can be easily identified when found floating in the Guaire river!

Also, the embezzlement part of getting an ID card would be avoided, and they could save on materials. It would be absolutely coherent with chavista ideology and the distopian hellhole of a country Chavez wanted.

21 thoughts on “Chávez eres (ta)tú

  1. Think of the possibilities. No need to wait in line to vote. Just input the number of tattoed/bar-coded and voila!


  2. But Syd, if you are “El Pollo” then you need 3 different sets of bar codes to match his 3 different passports.


    • It would also be akward every time a Colombian guerrilla fighter dies in combat, and a Venezuelan ID tattoo is found on them.


  3. Como Moe Szyslack nos enseñó en los Simpsons, un rallador de queso sirve para sacarse el tatuaje en caso de arrepentimiento…
    …Ahora, ahí tenemos la causa de la inminente escasez de ralladores de queso…


    • I don’t know, I want to see what kind of parameters we can use to detect the evolution of the Llaneritis.
      Right now the Sabanetas strongman has less followers than last year, I think about 200,000 less.
      Of course, Twitter is not life (c)…and yet this gives hope


  4. The tattoos will be a great aid to police. They won’t even have to consult their database to know whether to arrest someone. People without the tattoo will qualify as suspicious, maybe even squalid.


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