36 thoughts on “@chavezcandanga #FAIL

  1. Excelent piece FT.
    Hard to explain the depth of our madness to outsiders, so kudos to you! (<115 characters BTW)

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  2. Oh, yes, the socialist, anti-imperialist, pitiyanki-hating chavistas do love their twitters, their Windows/OSX computers, their gmails, their youtubes, their ipads and iphones…

    And every single one of them has an original ADIDAS Che Guevara T-shirt they bought in New York just to prove how much they hate the empire and love socialism.

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  3. Dear HalfEmpty, Anyone who googles up ‘telepathy’ will find that a minimum of two minds are required so you can sleep in peace…

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  4. “¡Excelente ese golpe al narcotráfico, Tarek! ¡Felicitaciones al equipo antidrogas y a la Guardia Nacional Bolivariana!”, expresó en el tuit.

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    • That presidential tweet was taken from a story of which it was the subject yesterday in El Nacional.

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      • Great timing these major drug busts…do they destroy the drugs transparently? Has media ever witnessed burning of cocaine in these large busts?

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        • It sort of brings to mind the amazing insta-capture of the kidnappers of certain high profile subjects. Wow. Excelente Tarek!

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        • No, Dave, the drugs are stashed in Miraflores. Of course they have been burned. The fact that it is not shown on Globovision means that you do not see it. What you want us to believe is that the drugs are somehow trafficked by the GNB or by Rangel Silva. Only imbeciles soeculate on and believe this stuff, Dave. Do you?

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  5. Some thoughts about governing via Twitter:

    -One strongman-leader and a second-tier of complete toadies with no sense of shame, in fierce competition with each other merely for favor.
    -I feared that chavismo might be able to outlast Chavez. It will clearly not if no one but Chavez is committed and able to take charge.
    -It’s one tiny step removed from the OUIJA board, if they ever get to that.
    -Maybe Hugo Chavez plans to become Ghost in the Shell, disembodied but still around. He is already quite viral in Venezuelan minds.

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    • Oh, no! You keep giving them ideas. The OUIJA board!
      Actually: my chavista aunts used to believe in that OUIJA stuff, so it seems plausible they would be keen on this combination as well.
      Sigue dándoles ideas…

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    • I thought somebody would notice that all the items are of less than 140 characters each. Kepler, I am not giving them ideas. It seems our country completely lost those twin senses, of humor and ridicule. Chavez’s Venezuela produces unintentional hilarity almost to match the intensity and frequency of Idi Amin Dada and Muammar Gaddafi in their time. This governing via Twitter is not quite as uproariously amusing (to an uninterested observer), as hiring a medium or using the OUIJA, but it gets quite close.

      Also:
      -We receive short messages from the Leader from Cuba. A con-man medium at least has to act the part!
      -Hugo Chavez, healthy, consulted everything personally with Cuba. Off with the formalities, like proving that he is alive too…
      -Is it possible that Venezuelans, so afraid of ridicule as they are, might not have heard of the Laugh Test? Venezuela is failing it!

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      • Did anyone read this part of Chavez’s worlds during the mass when he cried? Talking about lacking a sense of ridicule and of irony. Specially about how God apparently is good because he preferred to kill thousands of poor Americans instead of Cubans.

        Fidel ayer me recordaba a él que es marxista, me decía, recordábamos ambos, cuando él dijo una vez, una noche que un huracán amenazaba a Cuba, amenazaba pasar por La Habana y con una fuerza descomunal, y yo lo llamaba aquí, Fidel, ¿cómo va todo? “Ahí viene, es un monstruo Chávez, es como una bomba atómica, va a pasar por La Habana, pero aquí estamos listos para enfrentar todo…” Y nosotros aquí pues, muy preocupados. Al final, cuando ya el huracán estaba llegando me dijo: “Bueno, no sé si podremos seguir hablando, aquí seguramente se caen las líneas telefónicas Chávez…” Y le dije: Bueno, Fidel yo voy a orar, es lo que me queda.

        El huracán llegando a las costas de Cuba empezó a desviarse, y no pasó por La Habana, pasó por los campos y arrasó, pero no hizo el daño que se temía pues, porque no pasó por la ciudad.

        Bueno, fue el huracán Katrina, el que se estrelló contra Nueva Orleans, dos o tres días después, como una bomba atómica era el huracán.

        Al otro día hablamos, y él me explicaba la extraña circunstancias, que casi nunca había ocurrido, de que un huracán de tal magnitud se desviara a última hora, y cuando nos despedíamos me dijo: “Chávez ahora estoy convencido que Dios ayuda a Chávez y a sus amigos…” Ayer lo recordábamos: “Dios ayuda a Chávez y a sus amigos…”

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        • You’re right. It was such a spectacle, something that outrageous just floats by as normal.
          Also, I would like to know, at what point in this guy’s life did he start having conversations with himself and referring to himself in the third person? Combined with the track suit, he begins to look like an inpatient at a phychiatric hospital. No disrespect to inpatients intended.

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          • That’s the sad part, not only chavistas, but we all,have lost our sense of what’s ridiculous and outrageous and just let things like this fly by. I think is that we underestimated how much language means in politics and pretty much always let Chavez get away with his ridiculous, stupids, outrageous and offensive remarks to a degree that they became acceptable. Now to call him on that is almost futile.

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            • Indeed. The Venezuelan people have lost every sense of proportion with this military clown in power for 13 years now.

              On another topic: don’t feed Chris.

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            • Hhahah OK I promise, but I’m not the worst feeder on the blog, I just found the Pérez Jiménez thing to outrageous to let it pass. In that sense, I agree with some of your earlier posts this is not a matter of left/right debate as evidenced by Chávez’ admiration of Pérez Jiménez. What Chavismo really despises is civilian government and its “sissy “separation of powers, public debate, free speech and toleration of dissent.

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            • Kepler, I was curious- you keep bringing up the name. You mean this guy?
              http://venezuelanalysis.com/analysis/2077
              Well, whether it is him or not- and frankly, I don’t need to know- I couldn’t help noticing in a quick search that this “journalist” is drawing a parallel between Slobodan Milosovic’s regime and the Chavez regime, IN ITS DEFENSE.
              Venezuelan oil revenue, hard at work.

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            • Yes, that’s the bloke. It is not so surprising that he was also supporting Milosevic. Look: the communist parties of Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium have all supported Milosevic, not so much for ideological reasons but because of the enemy of my enemy is my friend -principle.

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            • In fact: it’s like string of believes: if they support Milosevic, they support Russia’s current government, even if the commies are now in the opposition (but then Putin sees himself in competition with the US) and because of that they won’t say anything about Chechnya but they will be for the independence of Southern Ossetia even if they hadn’t got a clue about what that is and so on.
              These pendejos sin fronteras are the most deterministic state machines on Earth…and with very few states at that.

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            • It sounds like Chris Carlson, but Chris off-grid since 2007. Wonder if he married and started family. Chris, if you read this, I hope you end up with an Iranian car

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